Non-Violent Communication and Conflict Managment

The information I learned this week from non-violent and conflict management is to consider the feelings of the other person.  The resources conveyed that connecting with the universal human need of trust and understand as well as listening and choosing words that can transform potentially violent conflicts into opportunities of working together. 

Recently I have been faced with a couple of conflicts over the past two weeks; they both remain fresh in my memory.  The one I would like to share is a phone conversation between myself and a parent I will call Darryl.  A phone call into the center at about three thirty on Friday it was Darryl asking to bring his son into the center for care on Saturday because he had an emergency case.  I informed him that the person who could approve this is not currently in the building and that she would return but I did not know exactly what time.  I told him I would leave his message on her desk.  He said I have an emergency can’t I bring my child in tomorrow.  I told I am not the one who can approve this for him because I do not know if there is space and Tracy has that information.  He continued to insist that I give him permission; he said so it could possibly be about seven o’clock before he would get an answer. I explained that I did not say that I told him Tracy would return but I could not give him a specific time and his message would be on her desk.  I finally ended the call with him; about five minutes later he came rushing hurriedly in our front door walked pass me directly to an empty office.  After he exited the office he stopped at the desk.  I looked at him at said I just spoke to you on the phone; he pretended he did not know what I was talking about.  I said you are Darryl, Nathan father right; he responded with yes.  I repeated to him that they were out of the building.  He walked away to visit his son with no further response. 

The strategy I learned from this interaction was without a doubt to fully listen to the concern the individual was explaining which I think I did pretty well; even though I could give him the answer he was seeking from me.  I apologized but, he was not accepting and only wanted me to address his issue.  The best I could do for him was to leave his message on my boss’s desk which I shared with him when we spoke on the phone.  The other strategy I tried to institute was a resolution but he was seeking an immediate response that I could not give him.  What I did not tell him was I would send her a text message about his emergency which is what I was doing when he blasted through the door pass me. 

I asked Carol a colleague how she learned to communicate more effectively.  Carol shared that she addresses issues immediately before they build into something more.  She feels if the issue is talked through and each party has an opportunity to speak and take into consideration the other persons feelings then the issues can be solved amicably.